Open Athesim & Private Faith

How had I come to test God at just six years old? I had believed in him enough to think he could answer my prayer but not enough to trust in him.

My father was and still is an atheist. As a child living on a colonial Army camp he witnessed guns being blessed by priests before being sent out to kill and as a young man he lived amongst the troubles in Northern Ireland where he studied art. These experiences along with all of the worlds other ills that are spurred on by religious men made him hate and denounce religion but especially Christianity.

My mother went to church, gave me a christening as a baby, sent me to Sunday school and church schools, she gave my Bible stories for Christmas and had her flat blessed by the priest when she moved in. But she would never openly discuss or admit to her faith, I think this privacy of religion is something brought on by living most of her life amongst people with little respect or tolerance of it.

My father went along with all this in a practical way, I went to church to get into the school and I went to the school because it was better than the alternative and so on. One oddity to this was the Shinto blessing he arranged for after my christening and the Buddha that lived in the kitchen next to offerings of rice.